Do you have any friends that you take for granted? I have a few. They are mostly friends that I have known since high school and we don't talk a lot anymore, but they are still my buds. What bugs me is that a lot of times, they make more of an effort contacting me than I do them. I feel really bad about this, yet being human (and lazy), most of the time I fail to do anything about it.
Michael Korda, Elisha Bussell (that will always be your last name to me), Charity Coyne, Josh Hailey, Eric Wright: I'm sorry I don't do a better job of keeping in touch with you. You are great friends!
My other thought is: where is the line between being dependable, being a sap, and being taken advantage of? I want to be thought of as dependable, but not at the expense of not being able to tell anyone 'no.' I don't like disappointing my friends. I don't like seeing on their faces or hearing in their voices. I want to be that person that everyone can depend on. But sometimes, it's just not realistic. Especially now that I have my own family. I want everyone to know that I will always be here as much as I can. You can bet in an emergency I'll have your back. And I know you'll understand if I say no when something interferes with family stuff, because family comes first.
That's all I have tonight.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Support
So, here's what's on my mind today:
Sometimes, when Julio and I are talking about plans for the future (hypothetically, because God taught me not to plan too far ahead), I get irritated or upset with some of the things he talks about wanting to do. This is only because I feel if we have already set one path, I don't really want to stray from it and I'm afraid adding something new to the mix will mess those plans up. So, sometimes I might say something to him about how I feel, other times I will just sit and stew on it. I think another part of it is I am afraid of going off course and, as a result, not knowing the outcome.
But something I have come to learn (after many hard lessons) is that whatever "plans" we make, if they are not God's will for us, it won't happen. I also know that it is my responsibility to support my husband. Yes, I will let him know my concerns and even fears, I will ask questions about things that he might not of even thought of, therefore giving him something to chew on. But ultimately, I will support his decision. That is part of my role as his wife. I know that he would never make a decision to harm our family, and he will always run things by me to see what I think.
I guess that I have this ideal picture in my head of what I want for our family and if I think something threatens that ideal, then I want nothing to do with it because it scares me. So, I need to let go and let God, and trust that God will lead Julio to make the right decision ultimately.
That is my thought for the day!
Sometimes, when Julio and I are talking about plans for the future (hypothetically, because God taught me not to plan too far ahead), I get irritated or upset with some of the things he talks about wanting to do. This is only because I feel if we have already set one path, I don't really want to stray from it and I'm afraid adding something new to the mix will mess those plans up. So, sometimes I might say something to him about how I feel, other times I will just sit and stew on it. I think another part of it is I am afraid of going off course and, as a result, not knowing the outcome.
But something I have come to learn (after many hard lessons) is that whatever "plans" we make, if they are not God's will for us, it won't happen. I also know that it is my responsibility to support my husband. Yes, I will let him know my concerns and even fears, I will ask questions about things that he might not of even thought of, therefore giving him something to chew on. But ultimately, I will support his decision. That is part of my role as his wife. I know that he would never make a decision to harm our family, and he will always run things by me to see what I think.
I guess that I have this ideal picture in my head of what I want for our family and if I think something threatens that ideal, then I want nothing to do with it because it scares me. So, I need to let go and let God, and trust that God will lead Julio to make the right decision ultimately.
That is my thought for the day!
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Grace
Dependent on God's Presence
There is no thrill for us in walking, yet it is the test for all of our steady and enduring qualities. To "walk and not faint" is the highest stretch possible as a measure of strength. The word walk is used in the Bible to express the character of a person-"...John...looking at Jesus as He walked...said, 'Behold the Lamb of God!'" (John 1:35-36). There is nothing abstract or obscure in the Bible; everything is vivid and real. God does not say, "Be spiritual," but He says, "Walk before Me..." (Genesis 17:1).
When we are in an unhealthy condition either physically or emotionally, we always look for thrills in life. In our physical life this leads to our efforts to counterfeit the work of the Holy Spirit; in our emotional life it leads to obsessions and to the destruction of our morality; and in our spiritual life, if we insist on pursuing only thrills, on mounting up "with wings like eagles" (40:31), it will result in the destruction of our spirituality.
Having the reality of God's presence is not dependent on our being in a particular circumstance or place, but is only dependent on our determination to keep the Lord before us continually. Our problems arise when we refuse to place our trust in the reality of His presence. The experience the psalmist speaks of - "We will not fear, even though..." (Psalm 46:2) - will be ours once we are grounded on the truth of the reality of it. Then we will exclaim, "He has been here all the time!" At critical moments in our lives it is necessary to ask God for guidance, but it should be unnecessary to be constantly saying, "Oh, Lord, direct me in this, and in that." Of course He will, and in face, He is doing it already! If our everyday decisions are not according to His will, He will press through them, bringing restraint to our spirit. Then we must be quiet and wait for the direction of His presence.
Update
So driving down the road yesterday, I was getting impatient with an elderly driver and his poor driving habits. Then it hit me, I need to start practicing grace and patience. I should not get so angry at others. No one is perfect, including me. That was my self-righteousness rearing its ugly head again. I have to admit my shortcomings in order to overcome them!
I don't have a lot to talk about today. We've just been taking it easy, trying to stay out of the heat. Since the ac in my car doesn't work very well (hardly at all!) we have to do any errands first thing in the morning. And I am not a morning person. Blah! But it does get it out of the way and then I can do stuff around the apt the rest of the day.
We are decorating Abbie's room more. I bought a bulletin board set to decorate the closet doors, plus I printed off some animal coloring sheets for added effect. I'm pretty excited about it!
Ok. Thats it. Peace out!
There is no thrill for us in walking, yet it is the test for all of our steady and enduring qualities. To "walk and not faint" is the highest stretch possible as a measure of strength. The word walk is used in the Bible to express the character of a person-"...John...looking at Jesus as He walked...said, 'Behold the Lamb of God!'" (John 1:35-36). There is nothing abstract or obscure in the Bible; everything is vivid and real. God does not say, "Be spiritual," but He says, "Walk before Me..." (Genesis 17:1).
When we are in an unhealthy condition either physically or emotionally, we always look for thrills in life. In our physical life this leads to our efforts to counterfeit the work of the Holy Spirit; in our emotional life it leads to obsessions and to the destruction of our morality; and in our spiritual life, if we insist on pursuing only thrills, on mounting up "with wings like eagles" (40:31), it will result in the destruction of our spirituality.
Having the reality of God's presence is not dependent on our being in a particular circumstance or place, but is only dependent on our determination to keep the Lord before us continually. Our problems arise when we refuse to place our trust in the reality of His presence. The experience the psalmist speaks of - "We will not fear, even though..." (Psalm 46:2) - will be ours once we are grounded on the truth of the reality of it. Then we will exclaim, "He has been here all the time!" At critical moments in our lives it is necessary to ask God for guidance, but it should be unnecessary to be constantly saying, "Oh, Lord, direct me in this, and in that." Of course He will, and in face, He is doing it already! If our everyday decisions are not according to His will, He will press through them, bringing restraint to our spirit. Then we must be quiet and wait for the direction of His presence.
Update
So driving down the road yesterday, I was getting impatient with an elderly driver and his poor driving habits. Then it hit me, I need to start practicing grace and patience. I should not get so angry at others. No one is perfect, including me. That was my self-righteousness rearing its ugly head again. I have to admit my shortcomings in order to overcome them!
I don't have a lot to talk about today. We've just been taking it easy, trying to stay out of the heat. Since the ac in my car doesn't work very well (hardly at all!) we have to do any errands first thing in the morning. And I am not a morning person. Blah! But it does get it out of the way and then I can do stuff around the apt the rest of the day.
We are decorating Abbie's room more. I bought a bulletin board set to decorate the closet doors, plus I printed off some animal coloring sheets for added effect. I'm pretty excited about it!
Ok. Thats it. Peace out!
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Devotion
So I'm trying something new with my post. I'm going to start with a daily devotion from "My Utmost for His Highest" by Oswald Chambers. Then, I'll follow it with updates. Maybe this will help me update on a daily basis.
The Submission of the Believer
Our Lord never insists on having authority over us. He never says, "You will submit to me." No, He leaves us perfectly free to choose - so free, in fact, that we can spit in His face or we can put Him to death, as others have done; and yet He will never say a word. But once His life has been created in me through His redemption, I instantly recognize His right to absolute authority over me. It is a complete and effective domination, in which I acknowledge that "You are worthy, O Lord..." (Revelation 4:11). It is simply the unworthiness within me that refuses to bow down or to submit to one who is worthy. When I meet someone who is more holy than myself, and I don't recognize his worthiness, nor obey his instructions for me, it is a sign of my own unworthiness being revealed. God teaches us by using these people who are a little better than we are; not better intellectually, but more hold. And He continues to do so until we willingly submit. Then the whole attitude of our life is one of obedience to Him.
If our Lord insisted on our obedience, He would simply become a taskmaster and cease to have any real authority. He never insists on obedience, but when we truly see Him we will instantly obey Him. Then He is easily Lord of our life, and we live in adoration of Him from morning till night. The level of my growth in grace is revealed by the way I look at obedience. We should have a much higher view of the word obedience, rescuing it from the mire of the world. Obedience is only possible between people who are equals in their relationship to each other; like the relationship between father and son, not that between master and servant. Jesus showed this relationship by saying, "I and My Father are one" (John 10:30). "...though He was a Son, yet He learned obedience by the things which He suffered" (Hebrews 5:8). The Son was obedient as our Redeemer, because He was the Son, not in order to become God's Son.
UPDATE:
So, Abbie is 3 months old now (14 weeks, exactly). She is beginning to push herself up during Tummy Time, and she can hold onto things we put in her hand. It's all very exciting. She's also a little easier to deal with now! She and I are establishing a routine and I have set a (flexible) bedtime.
I'm a little frustrated that I haven't continued to drop baby weight. I have sort of plateaued. BUT I know that it will come off soon enough. I'm trying not to worry about it.
Julio is still working the 2 jobs, but one of them is getting ready to get a little easier. His good friend David Torrez is coming back to Walmart (temporarily).
That's all I have time for today. Let me know if there is any subject about which you would like to hear an update.
The Submission of the Believer
Our Lord never insists on having authority over us. He never says, "You will submit to me." No, He leaves us perfectly free to choose - so free, in fact, that we can spit in His face or we can put Him to death, as others have done; and yet He will never say a word. But once His life has been created in me through His redemption, I instantly recognize His right to absolute authority over me. It is a complete and effective domination, in which I acknowledge that "You are worthy, O Lord..." (Revelation 4:11). It is simply the unworthiness within me that refuses to bow down or to submit to one who is worthy. When I meet someone who is more holy than myself, and I don't recognize his worthiness, nor obey his instructions for me, it is a sign of my own unworthiness being revealed. God teaches us by using these people who are a little better than we are; not better intellectually, but more hold. And He continues to do so until we willingly submit. Then the whole attitude of our life is one of obedience to Him.
If our Lord insisted on our obedience, He would simply become a taskmaster and cease to have any real authority. He never insists on obedience, but when we truly see Him we will instantly obey Him. Then He is easily Lord of our life, and we live in adoration of Him from morning till night. The level of my growth in grace is revealed by the way I look at obedience. We should have a much higher view of the word obedience, rescuing it from the mire of the world. Obedience is only possible between people who are equals in their relationship to each other; like the relationship between father and son, not that between master and servant. Jesus showed this relationship by saying, "I and My Father are one" (John 10:30). "...though He was a Son, yet He learned obedience by the things which He suffered" (Hebrews 5:8). The Son was obedient as our Redeemer, because He was the Son, not in order to become God's Son.
UPDATE:
So, Abbie is 3 months old now (14 weeks, exactly). She is beginning to push herself up during Tummy Time, and she can hold onto things we put in her hand. It's all very exciting. She's also a little easier to deal with now! She and I are establishing a routine and I have set a (flexible) bedtime.
I'm a little frustrated that I haven't continued to drop baby weight. I have sort of plateaued. BUT I know that it will come off soon enough. I'm trying not to worry about it.
Julio is still working the 2 jobs, but one of them is getting ready to get a little easier. His good friend David Torrez is coming back to Walmart (temporarily).
That's all I have time for today. Let me know if there is any subject about which you would like to hear an update.
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Confession Time
So, I'm not blogging as much right now as I planned, but I often set too high of expectations for myself. This quite often leads to my own disappointment.
Time to confess. I am quiet mad at myself. Sometimes I get angry at Abbie because she isn't sleeping when I want her to sleep, or she is demanding attention when I want me-time or Julio-time. Then I get mad at myself for being angry with her. She's just a baby. Babies are demanding. I am just being selfish. I am not allowed any me-time until she is a little older. I am so glad that I didn't have a baby, like, 6 years ago. I SOOOO wouldn't have been able to handle it!
There is a lot going on right now. My sister, Andi, is teaching me how to crochet. I'm going to start making things that I can sell! Her husband, Patrick, just got home from the hospital from his second surgery. YAY!! Time to heal and get his butt back to work! Julio and I have put ourselves back on a healthy eating diet. Mostly, I'm going to be counting calories, and he is doing the same plus working out. His goal for the Army is his birthday, which is in September.
We are getting ready to go on a birthday shopping spree thanks to my mom's retirement. She and Neal (her husband) are being very generous!
That's it for now. Gotta get some stuff done while Abbie is sleeping!
Time to confess. I am quiet mad at myself. Sometimes I get angry at Abbie because she isn't sleeping when I want her to sleep, or she is demanding attention when I want me-time or Julio-time. Then I get mad at myself for being angry with her. She's just a baby. Babies are demanding. I am just being selfish. I am not allowed any me-time until she is a little older. I am so glad that I didn't have a baby, like, 6 years ago. I SOOOO wouldn't have been able to handle it!
There is a lot going on right now. My sister, Andi, is teaching me how to crochet. I'm going to start making things that I can sell! Her husband, Patrick, just got home from the hospital from his second surgery. YAY!! Time to heal and get his butt back to work! Julio and I have put ourselves back on a healthy eating diet. Mostly, I'm going to be counting calories, and he is doing the same plus working out. His goal for the Army is his birthday, which is in September.
We are getting ready to go on a birthday shopping spree thanks to my mom's retirement. She and Neal (her husband) are being very generous!
That's it for now. Gotta get some stuff done while Abbie is sleeping!
Thursday, June 9, 2011
What a Week
Hey all!
I know its been a few days since the last blog. Our house has been a busy one!
Julio's dad and niece came into town over the weekend. We had a blast catching up, letting them spend time with Abbie, and getting some advice from Pops (he is a pediatrician in New York).
Last Friday was my birthday, so Julio and I went to JC Penny's to do some shopping during the sale. Then we ran up to my mom's to borrow a couple inflatable mattresses for our house guests. Then I had an appointment with Ashlee to get my hair colored. We went a little brighter this time. Ok, a lot brighter. My hair went just a tad lighter than it was supposed to, but oh well. Its just hair. Ash said that my hair colors light so next time she will make the mix a little darker. But with a couple washes, it won't look quite as orange ;) At least Julio likes it!
Julio picked Pops and Nati up at the airport, and they made some food stops before coming home and checkin out my precious. It was a great night. Hell, it was a great day!!!
Saturday, we took Pops and Nati to Golden Corral because they don't have one in NY but they get the commercials. Weird. Then we hit up Walmart and then back to JCP so Nati could get in on midwest prices magnified with the awesome sale that was going on. After the shopping, we headed back home to hang out until my 3rd baby shower(!) at 3. It was awesome! My brother and sister-in-law got to see Abbie for the first time! Plus, it was sort of a little reunion with my mom's side of the family that we haven't had much contact with in the past 2 years. (jeez, I didn't realize it had been that long.) Everything went really well and Abbie got some really cute outfits!
Saturday evening was rough. Abbie cried for about 2 hours straight. Pops stepped in and checked her out. He said she couldn't breathe through her nose. We had tried the snot sucker before, but he said that we need to use saline drops with it. They went to the store to get some (leaving me, frazzled, with a crying baby!), we watched Pops do the whole routine, and Julio and I both sighed when Abbie settled right down.
Sunday, we went to Denny's for breakfast, where the waitress lost our ticket and she and the manager both lied about what happened! But we got breakfast half off. Then we said our goodbyes, and Julio took Pops and Nati back to the airport. He made record time driving. I think the whole trip was less than 2 hours. He said he didn't speed....
Abbie and I have just been taking it easy this week. I think she's getting ready to hit another growth spurt. She usually sleeps at least 3 hours at a time at night, but the last 2 nights, she's been waking me up every 2 hours to eat. Its driving me nuts! Some days, that's the only time Julio and I get alone together. I know its only a matter of time before she sleeps through the night. I just hope I can make it!
That's pretty much it for now. I hope it was an interesting read!
I know its been a few days since the last blog. Our house has been a busy one!
Julio's dad and niece came into town over the weekend. We had a blast catching up, letting them spend time with Abbie, and getting some advice from Pops (he is a pediatrician in New York).
Last Friday was my birthday, so Julio and I went to JC Penny's to do some shopping during the sale. Then we ran up to my mom's to borrow a couple inflatable mattresses for our house guests. Then I had an appointment with Ashlee to get my hair colored. We went a little brighter this time. Ok, a lot brighter. My hair went just a tad lighter than it was supposed to, but oh well. Its just hair. Ash said that my hair colors light so next time she will make the mix a little darker. But with a couple washes, it won't look quite as orange ;) At least Julio likes it!
Julio picked Pops and Nati up at the airport, and they made some food stops before coming home and checkin out my precious. It was a great night. Hell, it was a great day!!!
Saturday, we took Pops and Nati to Golden Corral because they don't have one in NY but they get the commercials. Weird. Then we hit up Walmart and then back to JCP so Nati could get in on midwest prices magnified with the awesome sale that was going on. After the shopping, we headed back home to hang out until my 3rd baby shower(!) at 3. It was awesome! My brother and sister-in-law got to see Abbie for the first time! Plus, it was sort of a little reunion with my mom's side of the family that we haven't had much contact with in the past 2 years. (jeez, I didn't realize it had been that long.) Everything went really well and Abbie got some really cute outfits!
Saturday evening was rough. Abbie cried for about 2 hours straight. Pops stepped in and checked her out. He said she couldn't breathe through her nose. We had tried the snot sucker before, but he said that we need to use saline drops with it. They went to the store to get some (leaving me, frazzled, with a crying baby!), we watched Pops do the whole routine, and Julio and I both sighed when Abbie settled right down.
Sunday, we went to Denny's for breakfast, where the waitress lost our ticket and she and the manager both lied about what happened! But we got breakfast half off. Then we said our goodbyes, and Julio took Pops and Nati back to the airport. He made record time driving. I think the whole trip was less than 2 hours. He said he didn't speed....
Abbie and I have just been taking it easy this week. I think she's getting ready to hit another growth spurt. She usually sleeps at least 3 hours at a time at night, but the last 2 nights, she's been waking me up every 2 hours to eat. Its driving me nuts! Some days, that's the only time Julio and I get alone together. I know its only a matter of time before she sleeps through the night. I just hope I can make it!
That's pretty much it for now. I hope it was an interesting read!
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
New Things
Hey, Everyone. It's story time!
So, I decided to set up a cleaning schedule where I clean a different room everyday. That way I can keep up on the cleaning, but not have to do the whole apartment in one day. Today was the bathrooms. Blech. The hardest part is cleaning the tub (I'm married to a grease monkey!).
Also, Abbie decided she was going to try sucking her thumb to self-soothe today. Well, knowing how terrible of a habit that can be to break, I pulled her thumb out of her mouth (after taking a picture!) and immediately stuck in a binkie. I know it will be easier to wean her off of a pacifier than her thumb. I can't take a thumb away. LOL
Also, Julio and I are discussing me going to work extremely part-time this summer. We're talking 16-20 hours, definitely no more than 20 hours. He doesn't really want me to be away from Abbie, but I don't think it would be that big of a deal. But right now, we're just talking. I'm also looking into potential baby-sitters (not much pay involved). First dibs goes to my mom.
Well, that's it for today. I hope it was interesting!
So, I decided to set up a cleaning schedule where I clean a different room everyday. That way I can keep up on the cleaning, but not have to do the whole apartment in one day. Today was the bathrooms. Blech. The hardest part is cleaning the tub (I'm married to a grease monkey!).
Also, Abbie decided she was going to try sucking her thumb to self-soothe today. Well, knowing how terrible of a habit that can be to break, I pulled her thumb out of her mouth (after taking a picture!) and immediately stuck in a binkie. I know it will be easier to wean her off of a pacifier than her thumb. I can't take a thumb away. LOL
Also, Julio and I are discussing me going to work extremely part-time this summer. We're talking 16-20 hours, definitely no more than 20 hours. He doesn't really want me to be away from Abbie, but I don't think it would be that big of a deal. But right now, we're just talking. I'm also looking into potential baby-sitters (not much pay involved). First dibs goes to my mom.
Well, that's it for today. I hope it was interesting!
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